24h
60m
60s
AEDT
Ignatz Freer
Corpus Porpoise
22 March - 5 April 2025
Selected works
Exhibition poster
A BRILLIANT ACTOR
WHIRLED ON A FATAL FLAW
THE ARISTOCRATS
MISS SUSIE AND BIG YELLOW
​
​Performed by Ignatz Freer and Mia Kidis
Written by Ignatz Freer and Pauline Cady
Filmed by Will McIntyre
Exhibition poster by Hannah Ziaby
Installation view
#1 A BRILLIANT ACTOR
Actor drunk and nervous, immediately forgets his lines. He thinks to himself ‘God I hope they finally like me’.
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JACK
Hi..sir... how have you been doing these last few days?
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The butcher passes the boy on the block peering at him quizzically.
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THOMAS
Sir, I have some things of yours that I’ve been wanting to return to you for a while. Please take them back.
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BUTCHER
No, they are not mine. I never gave you anything.
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THOMAS
Please sir, you know very well that you didn’t. I admit I am a thief but my poor brother should suffer no blows or lashings for my greed...I thought the letters you wrote my mother with words were so sweet that they made these stolen items even more valuable. Now the joy these thefted trinkets brought me is gone, so please take them back. Beautiful things lose their value when they are acquired by dishonest means.
​
BUTCHER
Did you say your mother?
THOMAS
Yes sir...I found those letters very beautiful.
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BUTCHER
Do you take me as a fool?
THOMAS
Sir...?
BUTCHER
YOU LITTLE SLUT...tell me...are you pure?
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THOMAS
Excuse me?
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BUTCHER
Are you beautiful?
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THOMAS
I don’t know what you mean sir...
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BUTCHER
If you’re pure and beautiful, my advances to you must be seen with purity...unconnected to your beauty.
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THOMAS
But, sir...my beauty? My mothers beauty is astounding...why talk of how I look?
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BUTCHER
Your mother’s flabby cunt exudes nothing but the smell of death. She is not the beauty I am referring to. The power of your beauty is more likely to change a good boy into a whore than the power of purity is likely to change a beautiful boy into a virgin. You used to excite me and this was once a great puzzle, but now I’ve solved it. I used to love you.
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THOMAS
Yes, sir, you have now made me believe you did. Please forgive my wandering glances. My youth proceeds me and my naivety, which I wielded like a sword to steal from you and play tricks. That sword has now been turned toward my breast. Please sir, I will love you...I do love you! If you let my brother go we can indulge in the variety of earthly pleasures.
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BUTCHER
You shouldn’t have believed me. No matter how hard we try to be virtuous, our natural sinfulness will always come out in the end. I didn’t love you.
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THOMAS
You have tricked me then...
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​​The butcher runs back up to the window and yells out angrily at the mother then sits at the stoop
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​
​​BUTCHER
Get yourself to a church! Why would you be a breeder of sinners!? You snivelling shivering whore?! I am myself indifferent honest, yet I could accuse me of such things...It would be better if my mother had not borne me. I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious; with more offences on my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape or time to act them in. We are arrant knaves all; believe none of us! Go your way to church and quickly too. Where is your mother?
THOMAS
She is outside sir.
BUTCHER
Yes! and may she get locked out, so she can play the fool alone in the cold street...say your goodbyes.
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THOMAS/JACK
Oh, dear God, Mother please help us!
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The butcher sits down heavily and looks into the mirror of his enormous Knife. He talks to himself.
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BUTCHER
See? I could never let you marry. if you were to get married, it would be wasted on a fool, because wise men and women know to not trust boys like you.
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THOMAS
Dear God, please see through this insanity!
​
The butcher continues talking to himself but slowly rises and approaches Thomas.
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BUTCHER
And I know all about you boys and your make-up. God gives you one face, but you use make-up to give yourself another. You dance and sway as you walk, and talk in a cutesy way. You call God’s creations by pet names, and claim you don’t realize you’re being seductive. No more. I won’t allow it anymore. It has made me angry.
#2 WHIRLED ON A FATAL FLAW
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JERSEY
What's the matter honey?
Have you got a pain somewhere?
Sly...I've got something to tell you...Something so special that you are hardly gonna believe it...Sly?
Sly, do you love me?
You said you did yesterday remember
You said it underneath the spreading oak tree...I love you Jersey...your eyes shine
like the sun...and your mouth tastes of seawater...I didn't get exactly what you
meant at first but you kissed me and you clung to me like a hungry man and said I
love youuuuu.
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SLY
Well I don't!
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JERSEY
Stop playing with me honey this is important
Honey?
Honey??
Because right at this moment Sly...somethings happening...I'm gonna get big
sly...you'll say I'm getting fat...and so I am with what's growing inside of
me...we're gonna have a baby sly...just the two of us...
​
SLY
Can't be mine Jersey...You know I'd never screw no run down whore like you!
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JERSEY
You never said THAT before...you never called me WHORE before
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SLY
Yes I did!
I did one...i did too!...I did three!...I did underneath the fig tree
I called you a whoooreeee
I dont care i dont give a fuck...and I didnt give a fuck!
This monstrosity in your belly cant be mine
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JERSEY
OHHH you knock me down and then you start kicking me! I don't have to be so nice! I
don't even have to try anymore...I tried to leave you yesterday but you started
crying and saying I love you and stay...you opposite man!
There's more hate to you than there will ever be apparent to the eye...well die!
Run contrary wise...See if I care!
I HATE YOU
​
SLY
Come back Jersey...I love you!
Come backkkkkk!
Come back if you stay with me you won't want for nothing!
Jersey!!
On monday i'll bring you the moon
Tuesday i'll get the stars to to whimper at the door because your beauty has
outshined them
Wednesday the fish
Thursday the animals
Friday the very note of the air will change deeper with an exaltation of love
The bird song on saturday will outdrown nothing like my song of love for you jersey
Sunday you'll find me...erade a bride groom
Oh honey! What are we gonna call the baby?!
​​
The Aristocrats
While Elizabeth potters around her lavish home the local dairy cow comes and pokes her head into Elizabeth's window. Milk at last! The dry summer weather has led to yellow grass and little to no sweet milk this season. Elizabeth milks the cow and prepares her famous black forest gateau and excitedly waits for husband to come home so they can indulge in the sweeter side of their already tart lives.
​MISS SUSIE
Miss Susie had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell,
Miss Susie went to heaven,
The steamboat went to...
Hello Operator,
Please dial Number 9,
And if you disconnect me,
I’ll kick you from...
Behind the ‘frigerator,
There lay a piece of glass,
Miss Susie sat upon it,
And cut her little...
Ask me no more questions,
Tell me no more lies,
The boys are in the bathroom,
Pulling down their...
Flies are in the backyard,
The mosquitos are on the hunt,
Miss Susie kisses her boyfriend
With his finger up her CUNT
MISS SUSIE
Where is that silly buffoon Big Yellow!?
